


50 Teeth

by Spaghettiforpapy



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow, Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Alt-Power Taylor Hebert, Alternate Universe, Blood and Gore, Crack Treated Seriously, Gang Violence, Multi, Serious crack?, Tea, This is probably gonna be crack, World Domination, black hat: I’m gonna take it over, but not really, i wanna fuck shit up but also write a story where Taylor eventually has to dress formally, imo black hat is going to want to seriously mess with so many people, so here we mcfuckin are, the usual, you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21854179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spaghettiforpapy/pseuds/Spaghettiforpapy
Summary: Taylor doesn’t trigger, but things go wrong anyways. In a new and strange land, the first thing Black Hat comes up with to introduce himself and his host as the real apex predators they are is simple: world domination.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	50 Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Short prologue :////////

[50 teeth cover](https://spaghettiandart.tumblr.com/post/189748196919)

“I’m afraid that the “souls of the innocent” isn’t a topping we currently have in stock.”

 **“Kill him,”** the demon whispered into my ear. **“Kill him.”**

I just shrugged him off. “Told you so. Don’t have a tantrum,” I said, pulling the phone away from my face so that the guy on the other side didn’t think I was a schizo. 

**“He deserves to have his skin flayed and toenails popped off one by one,”** Black Hat grumbled. Despite him having no body, I swore that he was crossing his arms in a pout. **“Denying service to us? Unexcusable.”**

I ignored Black Hat. I usually don’t pay him any mind when he gets into a murderous rage- it was probably his default setting, anyways- and returned to speaking into the phone. “Right, then pepperoni and steak is good.”

An invisible claw tapped at my shoulder. I don’t know how he does it, but sometimes it’s almost as if he’s touching me at times- I know better than to question it, though, as whenever I ask him what he is he delves into maniacal laughter. He’s so weird. 

**“I want a pineapple and anchovy pizza,”** he hissed out in his gravelly, low voice. 

I recoiled. “Anch- we are not getting pineapple and anchovy. BH, that’s disgusting. That’s just wrong. Like, morally wrong.”

 **“You forget that I’m a villain and that my entire existence is morally wrong,”** Black Hat quipped back. **“Be grateful that you are my host. I would have rearranged your appendicular skeleton for that had you been anyone else.”**

He’s not bluffing. The proof had lain at my feet only a month ago, a body of a man whose arms and legs were twisted and shifted grossly through the flesh so that the humerus and shoulder girdle replaced the pelvic girdle and the femurs. Back then, I had thrown up at the gross bastardization of the human body. Now, I probably wouldn’t bat an eye- Black Hat purposefully tormenting my nightmares with images beyond what I can describe twisted me in such a way that I can’t bring myself to feel revulsion at the idea of the worst actions being inflicted on those that, at the very least, deserve it. 

“It’s still going in my body,” I argued, but knew that if I pushed it he’ll probably find something new to haunt my dreams with and scar me for life all over again. I ordered a second pizza with anchovies on it and dropped the phone on the body of the junkie that previously owned it. “It’s not even villainous. It’s just a crime against humanity.”

**“I beg to differ. Everything I do is villainous.”**


End file.
